OVERCOMING LONELINESS – PART 2

HOW DO I OVERCOME LONELINESS?

I’m trying to avoid overly simplistic answers here, because they won’t do you a whole lot of good, but the bottom line is that we can only overcome loneliness when we join in fellowship with other believers and with YHVH, usually in that order. [We are telling you about what we ourselves have actually seen and heard, so that you may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son, Yeshua Moshiach.] -- 1 John 1:3. What is significant in this passage is that it does not just direct us to fellowship with YHVH but gives equal importance to our need for fellowship with each other. When I find community with you, we together find community with YHVH. Rather than thinking of myself as an individual in relationship with YHVH and thinking that the only solution to my problem is to get to know YHVH better, I find that much of the real solution comes by growing closer to others in the Body of Moshiach. This is the complete opposite of how most of us deal with this problem, so there are a couple of things that need to take place in our lives if we’re going to change this.

1 – Re-Think Your View of the Church; Gatherings or TTN:
Many of us view the church, gatherings, prayer sessions or even TTN, in a way that is completely contrary to the New Testament. I want us to draw a contrast to the way we really look at any gathering, in person or the internet, vs. the way we should look them.

A -- An institution vs. a community:
If you think of the church as a building, or internet groups as denominational structures or as just a place where we can come together for worship and Bible study you are bound to think that they are the last places to go to solve your problems. But if you understand that as a community where we can come together, share our problems and our successes, encourage one another in the struggle and cheer each other on our victories, you will begin to look at it differently. Rather than cold, uncaring, generic places, we begin to understand that these communities of people have banded together to work, share and overcome until the day Yeshua returns.

B -- An event to attend vs. a family in which to belong:
Some view these communities as merely an event on their schedule. Just like on weekday mornings when it is time to go to work and weekends are time for sports or barbeques. Those who views these communities as an event are what I call [positional members.] They are like people who join a gym, pay their fees, but never actually go to the gym and exercise. They are members, but just in the sense that they have done the minimum necessary. And what happens to positional members at the gym? They stay out of shape. The same is true in the Body of Moshiach; if you view it as an event and you are a member so you can attend the event and have your name on the roll, you are a positional member who will lack the tools necessary to overcome your loneliness. [YHVH places the lonely in families...] -- Psalms 68:6a. While the Psalmist is most likely referring to a family with Mom, Dad, brothers and sisters, we know that in the New Testament the church is described as a family. [You are citizens along with all of YHVH's Holy people. You are members of YHVH's family.] -- Ephesians 2:19b. We each need to get to the point that we recognize and celebrate the fact that these communities are the family of YHVH, with all its faults, problems and diverse personalities, we are the family that YHVH has chosen to call His own.

2 – Revise Your Approach to Relationship:
One of the reasons we experience the loneliness that I have been talking about is because we have a wrong view of relationships, especially as it pertains to the church, prayer sessions, Biblical feast gatherings or internet groups.

A -- Realize your need:
If you view believer’s relationships as an option, you won’t make any effort to come into fellowship and grow with others in Moshiach. But if you recognize relationships with others as a need, in the sense that food and water are needs, you will begin to approach things differently. Remember what we read earlier: [We belong to each other, and each of us needs all the others.] -- Romans 12:5b.

B -- Move toward others:
You need to take some initiative here; I have heard people say, [I’ve been to this church for two years and no one’s invited me over to their place. I have been a member on this website, but no-one makes an effort to chat and discuss. They all live in their own world and just want to make a name for themselves.] Well, how many times have you invited people? Take some initiative; others feel just like you do and they are waiting for someone to reach out to them; it needs to be you. Find someone, introduce yourself to them, let them know that you are glad they are a part of your church, your prayer group, your Biblical feast gathering or your internet groups, and see what happens.

C -- Be vulnerable:
When you open yourself up to other people you place yourself in a vulnerable state, especially when you get to know someone well and they know your problems. A few years ago, my prayer group on university had been meeting for a few months, one of our members said: [It makes me feel good to know everyone else is as messed up as I am.] Now that might sound pessimistic, but what he was saying demonstrated how vulnerable we each had been in opening up and fellowshipping with others. Attend your church group, or sign in to the groups of TTN, it is a great opportunity for you to overcoming your problem with loneliness.

D -- Be empathetic:
To sympathize with someone means you feel sorry for them or what they are going through; to empathize means that you feel the pain with them. Listen to others around you, their pains, joys, sorrows and their celebrations. As Stephen Covey says: [Seek first to understand, then to be understood.]

E -- Trust YHVH:
No matter how lonely you might feel right now, realize that there is going to come a day when you come through this time and in the meantime, you need to trust YHVH that that day will come. Perhaps more than any other time, this is a time for prayer. In Greg Boyd’s book: [Seeing is Believing] he has a chapter on [Resting in Moshiach] where he gives this helpful advice: [Spend time imagining, in as concrete and vivid a way as possible, using all five senses, what you look, sound and feel like perfectly manifesting the truth that you are filled with YHVH’s Love, Peace and Joy. Imagine this in various situations in your life, especially those in which you tend to experience yourself lacking love, peace and joy. [Trust YHVH to come through for you and allow His Truth about who you are in Moshiach and the Love He has for you, see you through to a brighter day.