WORTHWHILE CONVERSATIONS

CONVERSATIONS ABOUT OUR FAITH ARE WORTHWHILE WHEN WE ARE GRACIOUS.

Let your word always be with favour, seasoned with salt, so that you know how you ought to answer each one. Colossians 4:6 --- When we tell others about our Moshiach, it is important to always be gracious in what we say. No matter how much sense the message makes, we lose our effectiveness if we are not courteous. Just as we like to be respected, we must respect others if we want them to listen to what we have to say. “Gracious and effective” means that what we say should encourage further dialogue.

ACTIVE LISTENING MAKES A WORTHWHILE CONVERSATION.

So then my beloved brothers, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath (James 1:19) --- When we talk too much and listen too little, we communicate to others that we think our ideas are much more important than theirs. James wisely advises us to reverse this process. Put a mental stopwatch on your conversations and keep track of how much you talk and how much you listen. When people talk with you, do they feel that their viewpoints and ideas have value?

WORTHWHILE CONVERSATIONS COME WHEN WE ARE SLOW TO BE OFFENDED.

These verses speak of anger that erupts when our egos are bruised -- I am hurt; my opinions are not being heard. When injustice and sin occur, we should become angry because others are being hurt. But we should not become angry when we fail to win an argument or when we feel offended or neglected. Selfish anger never helps anybody.

WHAT MAKES A CONVERSATION WORTHLESS? WORTHLESS CONVERSATIONS ARE DESTRUCTIVE.

For we all stumble in many matters. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the entire body. James 3:2 --- What you say and what you don’t say are both important. Proper speech is not only saying the right words at the right time, but also controlling your desire to say what you shouldn’t. Examples of an untamed tongue include gossiping, putting others down, bragging, manipulating, false teaching, exaggerating, complaining, flattering and lying. Before you speak, ask yourself, Is what I want to say true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?

WORTHLESS CONVERSATIONS DEMONSTRATE LACK OF SELF-CONTROL.

James compares the damage the tongue can do to a raging fire -- the tongue’s wickedness has its source in hell itself. The uncontrolled tongue can do terrible damage. The evil one uses the tongue to divide people and pit them against one another. Idle and hateful words are damaging because they spread destruction quickly and no one can stop the results once they are spoken. We dare not be careless with what we say, thinking we can apologize later, because even if we do, the scars remain. A few words spoken in anger can destroy a relationship that took years to build. Before you speak, remember that words are like fire -- you can neither control nor reverse the damage they do.

WORTHLESS CONVERSATIONS REMIND US OF OUR DISOBEDIENT TENDENCIES.

If no human being can control the tongue, why bother trying? Even if we may not achieve perfect control of our tongue, we can still learn enough control to reduce the damage it can do. It is better to fight a fire than to go around setting new ones! Remember that we are not fighting the tongue’s fire in our own strength. Ruach HaKodesh will give us increasing power to monitor and control what we say so that when we are offended, we will be reminded of Elohim’s Love and won’t react. When we are criticized, Ruach HaKodesh will heal the hurt and we won’t lash out.

WORTHLESS CONVERSATIONS REMIND US OF OUR NEED FOR GOD’S HELP.

Our contradictory speech often puzzles us. At times our words are right and pleasing to Elohim, but at other times they are violent and destructive. Which of these speech patterns reflects our true nature? The tongue gives us a picture of our basic human nature. We were made in Elohim’s image; but we have also fallen into sin. YHVH works to change us from the inside out. When Ruach HaKodesh purifies a heart, He gives self-control so that a person can speak words that please Elohim.