FAMILY LIFE AND RELATIONSHIP --- PART 4

THE POSITION OF CHILDREN
Children were generally well loved, but their childhood was short, and they were often regarded as labourers for the house or fields. According to the Law, the eldest son received a double portion of the estate as his birth right -- Deuteronomy 21:17. Thus, he was assured of the position of family head. Even during his father’s lifetime, the eldest son took precedence over his brothers and sisters -- Genesis 43:33. Where twins were born, the first to emerge from the womb was considered the elder, with all his privileges -- Genesis 25:24-26; Genesis 38:27-30. The eldest son could lose this right if he committed a serious offense -- Genesis 35:22; Genesis 49:3-4; 1 Chronicles 5:1. Or it could be surrendered voluntarily, as Esau did by selling his birth right to his brother Jacob -- Genesis 25:29-34. A law protected the oldest son’s rights even if the father favoured the younger son -- Deuteronomy 21:15-17. Nevertheless, King David gave his kingdom to Solomon, his youngest son -- 1 Kings 2:15. In a family with no sons, a daughter could inherit property --Numbers 27:8. Frequently, parents consulted neither sons nor daughters when marriage partners were arranged for them. Marriage was often an alliance or contract between two families, and thus the wishes and concerns of the individuals were considered unimportant. Love matches were few, although occasionally a son would marry in defiance of his parents, as Esau did -- Genesis 26:34-35. Although it was rare for young people to express their feelings and preferences about marriage in an open fashion, Saul’s daughter, Michal, announced her love for David -- 1 Samuel 18:20. There is no record of legal adoption among the Hebrews, but it was practiced from ancient times in Mesopotamia. It was especially useful as a means of ensuring a childless couple that their land would be tilled and that they would be cared for in their old age. All examples of adoption mentioned in the Old Testament took place outside the land of Israel -- Exodus 2:10; 1 Kings 11:20; Esther 2:7, 15 and are not examples of true adoption as a lifetime member of a family.

THE RIGHTS OF CHILDREN
Children suffered unfortunate distinctions between males and females because of the nature of a male-dominant society. A daughter could be sold into slavery or sold to be the concubine of a man and then possibly sold again -- Exodus 21:7-11. She certainly held an inferior position to that of a son. In the patriarchal period, however, both a son and a daughter could be put to death for disobeying the head of the family. One’s children could also be sacrificed in pagan worship rituals -- see Genesis 22; Judges 11. Pagan nations neighbouring Israel, including Canaan and Ammon, probably practiced infant sacrifice. Many of these ancient family traditions seem so foreign - even barbaric - to us today. Likewise, the family unit of biblical times could not begin to understand the typical family’s modern traditions. Satan has always attacked the family because of its important role in YHVH’s Creation. Children gained more rights from YHVH’s Law at the time of Moses. A father could not put his child to death without referring the case to the elders -- Deuteronomy 21:18-21. A father could accuse his son or daughter of being disobedient, gluttonous or a drunkard. However, the elders heard the cases. A father’s absolute authority even extended to his married son and family if they were living under his roof. According to Law, children could not be responsible for the crimes of their parents -- Deuteronomy 24:16. In King David’s time, a person had the right of appeal to the king if the community convicted him or her -- 2 Samuel 14:4-11. Hebrew families honoured their parents above all else. Children honoured both their mother and father -- Exodus 20:12. The Law condemned offenses against either parent -- Exodus 21:17; Leviticus 20:9; Deuteronomy 21:18; Deuteronomy 27:16. The Wisdom Literature-mainly Job, Proverbs and Ecclesiastes-focuses on the respect due a woman -- Proverbs 19:26; Proverbs 20:20; compare to Sirach 3:1-16. YHVH gave His people specific Laws to distinguish them from the pagan cultures around them. Although believing in Yeshua is a relationship more than it is about keeping rules and regulations, the Bible teaches standards for human behaviour. Without Laws, as we see in the pagan cultures then and now, people are ruthless, evil, and unbalanced. YHVH’s Laws helped guide the Israelites in their new culture, and they still guide us today to live a principled life.

DAILY LIFE OF THE HEBREW FAMILY

FATHERS
In the everyday affairs of a Hebrew household, it was the father’s responsibility to maintain the family fortune and to be the provider. He might work in the fields, most probably with crops of flax, barley, or wheat. Or he would work at a trade, possibly as a weaver, builder, potter, dyer, fuller, or a worker in copper or bronze. If he lived near the shore, he might be a fisherman. The father was also responsible for the religious well-being of the family. It was his duty to take over his sons’ education from the mother at an early age, teaching them the tenets of the Hebrew religion -- Exodus 10:2; Exodus 12:26; Deuteronomy 4:9; Deuteronomy 6:7. He also explained all the facets of the Law and the history of the Jewish people. The father was the disciplinarian of the family. The – rod - was the method of choice to drive home the lessons -- Proverbs 13:24; Proverbs 22:15; Proverbs 29:15-17, though it is not completely clear what is meant by these references. Though children were loved and valued, they were not pampered Sirach 30:9-12. After the exile to Babylon, the synagogue became the centre for education. Shortly before the time of Moshiach, a general elementary education was introduced. Fathers, however, still had to teach their sons a trade. They usually passed on their own craft. A man without a trade either starved or became a thief. Another important paternal responsibility was that of a matchmaker - providing wives for male offspring in the household.

MOTHERS
The mother was responsible for her sons’ and daughters’ early education -- Proverbs 1:8; Proverbs 6:20, teaching them religious songs and prayers as soon as they could talk. A father took over the education of his sons, but the mother continued with the daughters, training them to spin, weave, cook, clean, trim the lamps, and become competent in all the household duties -- Proverbs 31:13-31. With little furniture, keeping a house clean meant sweeping the floors to keep them free from dust and dirt. Cooking was at once simple and difficult. It was simple in that they cooked much of the food in the form of a soup or stew, or else made it into a cake and cooked it on a griddle. It was difficult in that the corn had to be ground by hand and bread was baked daily. A mother was expected to take wool, card it, spin it, and often weave and make clothes for her family. In addition, she would help her husband in the fields at the time of harvest. Because many families had one or more olive trees, a few grapevines, and fig trees, the mother would also assist in picking the fruit. She would sometimes work at the press when the olives or grapes were being processed. The husband and wife would frequently tread the grapes together in the family vat. Drawing water from the well was considered a menial task and was generally the wife’s responsibility, although sometimes it was given to the children -- Genesis 24:15-16.

CHILDREN
As in all societies, children laughed and played together -- Zechariah 8:5; Matthew 11:16, although childhood and adolescence were not seen as specific stages of development. Children were considered sucklings if they were under three, but they were regarded as boys or girls when they were able to take care of themselves. Mothers played with their children and enjoyed family time together -- Isaiah 66:12. There is no evidence of organized sports for children. Toys, including whistles, rattles, dolls, and miniature cooking utensils, have been excavated at Palestinian sites. As soon as a boy was old enough, he took his place in the family and accepted his appointed task. Among other things, children were expected to gather wood -- Jeremiah 7:18. Young boys and girls tended the flocks. The sheep had to be protected from marauding wild beasts, guarded against their own folly when they wandered near crevices, steered toward good pasture and water, and carried home when sick or injured Genesis 29:6; Exodus 2:16. Children also cared for the cattle 1 Samuel 16:11. Of necessity, boys were trained in the various arts of war. Children sometimes joined their fathers in the fields, and their presence was always welcome. From earliest times, boys would watch their fathers until they too picked up a tool or implement to try their skill; girls watched and learned from their mothers. Young children frequently listened to the talk of the elders at the city gates or in the villages. A visit to a sanctuary at festival time was a family affair, furnishing an ideal learning experience. As a child, Yeshua accompanied Mary and Joseph to the Temple in Jerusalem -- Luke 2:42-47. Young girls were surprisingly free to go about their appointed tasks. They were not secluded or veiled and could visit uninhibited with friends and neighbours -- Genesis 34:1. They were also able to converse with men without embarrassment -- Genesis 24:15-25; Genesis 29:11-12 ; 1 Samuel 9:11-13)